MY STORY. 

I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 18. I had just graduated high school, and enrolled in hair school, surrounded by chaos, drama, late nights, and constant exposure to chemicals. At the time, I didnt understand how much my environment was shaping my mind and body. 

After finishing school, I went to take my state board exams. The instructor assigned to prepare us to take the exam was disengaged and I was unprepared. When I went to take the test, I failed. This failure planted a deep fear in my subconscious. 

When I went to retake the test, I experienced my first true bout of anxiety. My stomach was in knots, my breath felt shallow, and my nervous system was constantly on edge. At the same time, my life had shifted completely. I went from living in a peaceful home with routines and rhythms to staying up all night, dating an unstable boyfriend, and eating mostly processed foods. 

Within a single month, my body changed dramatically. I gained over 20 lbs, my face broke out in acne, and I began growing hair on my face and stomach. My body was speaking loudly-- but I didn't yet know how to listen. 

I knew something had to change but I didn't know how. I was addicted to processed carbohydrates and fats, disconnected from my body, and had no tools to regulate my mind or nervous system. From that point forward, I made a quiet vow to figure out how to live mindfully, how to truly support my body, and how to heal from the inside out. 

Through this journey, I learned that when I ate whole, nourishing foods, aligned my life with rhythm of the sun, grounded myself in nature, moved my body with intention; learned to manage my mind, and took radical ownership of my inner experience-- my body could actually feel good.-- deeply good. 

The process wasn't all at once and it wasn't easy. It took time, patience, and intention. My healing truly began when I broke up with the unstable boyfriend, found my husband, and started making real meals from scratch. I was told it would be very difficult to get pregnant, yet after these early shifts-- calming my nervous system, nourishing my body, and restoring rhythm-- I lost 25 lbs and became pregnant right away. 

Over the years, as my hormones have fluctuated through four pregnancies and seasons of nursing,.. I have learned to work with my body rather than against it. I no longer see my body as something to fight or fix, but as something intelligent, responsive, and worthy, of care. 

Learning to become mindful of  the thoughts I choose to entertain has been a game changer. Understanding the beliefs driving my thoughts and behaviors opened me up to a way of living I didnt even know was possible. Letting go of shame, guilt, and dropping self deprecation has been essential.

Ultimately, my deepest healing has come through Jesus Christ. Through surrender and trust in Him, my body relaxed. Knowing God has my back-- and that I can trust the present moment-- changed everything. By allowing my emotions, both good and hard, and choosing love over resistance, I found a deep sense of peace. Living in the balance of radical responsibility for what I am creating and radical surrender for whats out of my control is where that peace lives now.

I have loved determining my personal values and running all my decisions through the filter of if it aligns with my values or not. This has been a game changer for me. Here are mine: 

Self Sustainability  Radical Responsibility  Connection to God, Family, and Nature  Health and Wellness  Integrity

Feel free to decide your personal values and begin living more in alignment with them.